I had just done the very thing I advise people not to do. I was all relaxed and ready for bed, but decided to check my email one last time. In truth, I had been having a somewhat tense online conversation, and was hoping to find a peaceful resolution in my in-box. Unfortunately, the opposite occurred. Our miscommunication had taken an even worse turn and now there was a toxic blast waiting for me. Sure enough, I almost instantly could feel my heart racing, my brainwaves moving faster, and stress hormones coursing through my body. Not what you want when preparing for sleep!

Sometimes a single traumatic event can wreak havoc on the sleep system for years after the trauma has passed.  This was certainly the case with “Danielle,” who had not slept well ever since her husband had died eight years ago.  Most nights it took her hours to fall asleep, often not falling asleep until after 2:00 a.m.  Other nights she would fall asleep quicker, but then wake around 3:00 a.m. unable to return to sleep.

There is a wonderful energy between the winding down of the holidays and the first week of the New Year.  It can be a time of reflection – a time to look back on the challenges and blessings of the past year to release what you would like to let go of and bring forward more of what you wish to see.  It felt especially poignant this year as we brought 2020 – and all that it represented – to a close and rung in 2021.  This ripe transition period is an excellent time to set New Year’s intentions.

 Is a dark cloud of guilt weighing you down?  You know what I’m talking about… that sinking, icky feeling whenever you think about something unpleasant and your role in it.

Many of my clients suffer from guilt, and today I wanted to explore “useful guilt” versus “toxic guilt.”

I remember the day I heard about Michael Jackson’s death. It was on June 27, 2009, two days after it happened. I was flying home from an intensive week-long course where I hadn’t had access to news of any kind. As I watched the story unfold on an airport T.V. during a layover, what I remember most is not the grief at losing this talented performer and fellow human being well before his time, or anger at his doctor for irresponsibly providing a deadly combination of drugs, but compassion and understanding toward the King of Pop.

Grief is heavy, wet, and oh so painful. It can feel like an arrow in your heart. Whenever you lose something important in your life, it’s natural to suffer grief. You may feel sad, devastated, lonely, lost, empty, weak, helpless, depressed, or even suicidal. All of these are faces of grief.

Nobody likes to feel painful emotions. As a society we do everything we can not to feel them: we numb them with substances, food, the media or other addictions, we block them out by over-scheduling, we deflect them, project them, anything to avoid the pain.

When Melanie came to see me she had a fear of thunderstorms that had started when she was a child. Whenever she heard thunder she would feel extremely anxious, shaky, and tearful until the storm had passed. As an adult this could be embarrassing. For example, just a few years ago she had people over to visit during a big storm and tears kept streaming down her cheeks. When she heard about tapping, she was excited to see if it could work for this life-long fear.